The Wisdom of Madness: The Ministry of Curiosities, Book #10 Read online

  He wouldn't be laughing if he'd just proposed to Alice. He'd be waiting with baited breath for her to say yes, no matter the circumstances.

  "Right," Gus said, clapping his hands together. "You two have to act all lovey in public from now on. It don't need to be too much, just a smile or sweet look. Make sure Lord Quellery thinks you're in love. That way he won't force his sister on you, Seth, unless he's more of a prick than we think."

  "Eva?" Seth asked. "What's wrong?"

  "Nothing," she said, a little too brightly.

  "You don't have to agree if you don't want to. I can tell Lady Oxana I made it up."

  "Don't do that. If you truly don't want her advances—"

  "I don't."

  "Then we'll go through with it."

  "I'd do the same for you, if the positions were reversed. If there's any man, either here or back home, who won't leave you alone, tell me and I'll be the most loving husband you could ever hope for." He patted her hand. "As long as you don't make me give up drinking. You're not one of those wives who wants a teetotaler for a husband, are you?"

  She laughed, despite herself. "As long as you promise not to come home too drunk, traipse mud through the house, or bring home your rowdy friends, we'll get along fine."

  "Gus, you're no longer my friend."

  Gus rolled his eyes. "I don't get no rowdier than you after a few drinks. You should tell him not to start fights in taverns, Eva. He's got a habit of that."

  "Gus!" Seth cried.

  "What? It's not like you're marrying her for real. It's just a lark."

  Eva's good mood deflated. "I think I should return to my room. Alice ought to be back soon."

  Seth peered out the window. "They're no longer in the garden."

  Gus rose to answer a knock at the door. "You two look sweet on one another in case it's Lady Oxana," he said.

  Seth placed his hand on Eva's shoulder then must have thought the gesture wasn't intimate enough and stroked her hair instead. "Has anyone ever told you your hair is beautiful?" he asked softly. "It seems to swallow the light."

  Eva's heart tripped.

  Alice and Markell strode into the room and took in Seth's position beside Eva. Alice's brows rose, and a fleeting smile touched Markell's lips.

  "Sorry," Alice said. "Are we interrupting something?"

  Seth removed his hand. "We're glad you're here. We have something to tell you."

  "And we have something to tell you too. You say your piece first."

  "Lady Oxana came here," Gus said, taking up a position by Seth near the window. "She wanted Seth." His words were matter of fact, as if he witnessed this sort of thing all the time. How often had Seth been propositioned by ladies of means?

  "But I did not want her," Seth added. "You're shocked, Alice."

  Alice touched her throat, her chin, her throat again then self-consciously dropped her hand away. "Are you sure that's what she wanted? Perhaps you misinterpreted."

  "There was no mistaking her intentions," Seth said, lowering his gaze and voice. "She was very clear."

  "She sure bloody was," Gus added.

  Alice's gaze darted around the room as if she didn't know where to focus. Seth looked even more embarrassed. Eva couldn't bear seeing him like that.

  "The problem is," she said, "Lady Oxana threatened to tell her brother. She claimed he would withhold his troops until his sister got what she wanted."

  "She's mad," Markell scoffed. "You believed her?"

  "She was convincing," Gus said. "And how are we to know he wouldn't?"

  "So they came up with a solution," Eva said. "Seth and I will pretend to be married."

  Alice's gaze finally snapped to Seth's. "You think that will put her off?"

  "We hope so," Eva said.

  "Can you think of a better plan?" Gus asked.

  Alice shook her head. "I think it's an excellent idea. You'll have to be convincing for it to work. Can you do that, Eva?"

  "I'm quite a good actress when I put my mind to it," Eva said.

  "What about you, Vickers?" Markell asked.

  Seth grunted a laugh. "I can manage."

  "Seth should be on the stage," Gus told them. "Don't worry about him being caught out."

  "So what's your news?" Seth asked Markell. "What were you discussing outside in the garden?"

  Markell's face darkened. He and Alice exchanged a worried glance. "Quellery will only give us his army on one condition." Another worried look passed between them. "That he marries Alice."

  Seth pushed off from the wall. "No! That is not an option. Don't agree to it, Alice."

  "I haven't," she said, sounding put out that he would think such a thing. Or perhaps because she didn't like him telling her what to do.

  "Will you consider it?" Gus asked.

  "She won't," Markell said. "As you say, Vickers, it's not an option. There has to be another way."

  But no one could think of anything. The longer the silence stretched, the more restless Alice became. She couldn't sit still, and her brow became more and more furrowed.

  "It's hopeless," she finally blurted out. "I have to do it."

  "No!" they all cried.

  Eva took Alice's hand. "You are not marrying that revolting man, no matter what's at stake."

  Alice blinked back tears. "Then tell me how to refuse him without jeopardizing everything."

  Eva couldn't answer that. Nor could anyone else.

  "We'll think of something," Seth assured her. "But Eva's right. You're not marrying him."

  "We could tell him you're already married," Gus suggested. "Like Seth told Lady Oxana he's married to Eva."

  "That would be an excellent solution," Markell said darkly, "if I'd thought of it at the time. But I didn't and if I say something now, he'll know it's a lie." He swore under his breath. "I'm sorry, Alice. I failed you."

  "You most certainly have not." She grasped his hand between both of hers. "I wouldn't expect you to think of such a scheme. Your mind isn't as devious as Seth's or Gus's. It's your unfailing honesty and goodness that I like so much, Markell," Alice went on. "Don't wish to be otherwise."

  Seth leaned back slowly, watching the exchange. Did he hear Alice's unspoken words too? It wasn't obvious from his expression.

  Gus didn't look the least upset that Alice implied he was dishonest. "If Quellery's going to withhold his army if you don't marry him, Alice, there ain't no need for Eva and Seth to pretend to be married. Lady Oxana's got no leverage."

  "Let's play it safe anyway," Alice said.

  "Agreed," Markell chimed in. "They should continue with the ruse, just in case."

  "Eva?" Seth asked. "Are you still happy to be my wife?" He shot her a winning smile that took her completely by surprise, and stole her breath too.

  She nodded.

  "I haven't given up on Quellery altogether yet," Markell said. "There's still a chance his desire to get rid of the Queen of Hearts overrides his desire to marry Alice."

  Eva doubted it. Even if Quellery wanted to continue with the revolution, he had a stronger position than Alice. They needed him and his army. He'd be a fool not to use it to bargain with them. Marriage to the future queen was a valuable prize.

  "I'll go speak with Blaine now," Markell said. "Alice, you should get some sleep." He bowed. "Goodnight."

  He left, and Eva walked out with Alice. "You shouldn't be so unfair on Seth," Eva said once they were back in their own room.

  Alice removed her dress over her head. "How am I unfair to him?"

  "He adores you," Eva said, kicking off her shoes.

  "No, he doesn't. He thinks well of me. They're not the same thing."

  "And you just told him you think him dishonest."

  Alice blinked at her. "Did I? When?"

  "When you told Markell you like his honesty and you considered Gus and Seth to have devious minds. It was in the implication, not the words themselves."

  "Oh. You're right. How awful of me." Alice placed the dress over the back
of a chair and climbed onto the bed. She drew her knees up under the covers and hugged them. "I'll apologize to Seth and Gus in the morning. Seth does keep secrets, though."

  "That's his right."

  "Yes, but…having secrets doesn't endear him to me."

  "Perhaps he would tell you his secrets if he knew you wouldn't be embarrassed by them."

  Alice rested her chin on her knees and sighed. "I can't promise that, can I?"

  And that, Eva realized, was the entire problem with Seth and Alice as a couple. The secrets Seth had confided to Eva tonight would shock the straight-laced Alice. If she knew them, she probably couldn't look at him again without blushing. A couple that didn't share all their secrets was doomed, in Eva's opinion, but so was a couple that couldn't bear to look one another in the eye.

  Eva sat back against the pillows and wondered if either Alice or Seth had come to the same conclusion. She eyed the back of Alice's head and tried to think of a way to ask casually, so as not to show too much interest.

  "How am I supposed to be a good queen if I don't even realize I've offended a friend?" Alice muttered. "What if I say something to an important lord or lady and it can be construed the wrong way?" She groaned. "I'll be a hopeless ruler. This whole idea of me being a queen is hopeless. Why did I even come here?"

  "Because the general would have destroyed Lichfield if you didn't." Eva scooted forward and circled Alice in her arms. "You'll make a great queen. In time, you'll learn how to phrase things so that no one can take offence. I'm sure Markell will be happy to teach you all the important queenly traits you'll need, privately of course."

  Alice smirked. "He really is an excellent teacher. It's no wonder he became one of the queen's advisors at such a young age. I honestly can't think of anyone I'd rather have by my side through this."

  Offering good advice was one thing. Getting them out of this predicament was entirely another. "Would you consider abandoning plans to become queen and just going home?" Eva asked.

  Alice took a long time to answer. "We have to get the spell book regardless of whether I become queen or not. I'll decide once we have it in our hands."

  If they ever got it in their hands.

  Eva dressed in her old gown and boots. She fingered the fabric at the hem and was relieved to feel the small bulges. The vials were still safe. She hoped she wouldn't need them, but it was a comfort to know they were there.

  A maid delivered a breakfast of hard bread and black sausages with a jug of strong ale. "I think they're trying to starve us into agreeing to Quellery's proposal," Alice said, pushing the plate away. She'd put on the tunic and hose again, seeming to prefer it over the new dress too.

  "I'm going to speak to David," Eva said. "He needs to be kept informed."

  "Don't be long. I think it wise we all stay together today as much as possible."

  The ominous note in her voice gave Eva pause. Alice was scared. They both were. They'd spoken at length the night before about how to refuse Lord Quellery's proposal of marriage diplomatically. Alice had to do it in such a way that would make it seem he was getting out of a bad arrangement. Eva wasn't sure it would work. He didn't look like a man who cared for diplomacy.

  She asked a maid for directions to David's room and found that it was between Gus and Seth's, and Markell's. "Sleep well?" he asked, yawning.

  "Not particularly." She pushed past him into the bedchamber. It was a cozy room, big enough for only one narrow bed and the washstand. "There's something you need to know." He stared at her, the door still open. She shut it for him. "Come and sit down."

  She wasn't sure which piece of news would upset him more so decided that the life threating one should be told first. "Alice is going to speak to Lord Quellery today to try convince him she'd make a poor choice in a wife," she finished.

  He barked a laugh. "Don't be ridiculous. How can a future queen be a bad choice for a power-hungry pig?"

  "Shhh." Even though the door was closed, she didn't trust the castle's inhabitants. She wouldn't put it past Lord Quellery and Lady Oxana to be listening at doors. "That's not all. Seth and I have to pretend we're married."

  "Married! Why?"

  "Lady Oxana keeps making advances toward him so he told her he was already taken."

  David shot to his feet. "You will not be sleeping in his bed. I won't allow it."

  "We won't share a room. Not that you have any say in it," she said hotly. "I'm merely telling you as a courtesy."

  That shut him up for all of five seconds. She should have known this would be harder for him to swallow than the prospect of the revolution failing.

  "I am you brother, Eva, and the head of the household."

  "Tosh. Mother is the head of the household. You do as she says and you know it."

  "Not true," he muttered.

  She went to leave, but he caught her arm.

  "If he kisses you, I'll have to call him out," he said.

  "Dueling pistols at dawn? Don't be ridiculous, David."

  "Don't be so headstrong, Eva. That's always been your problem." He poked his finger at her, stabbing the air near her nose. "You always think you can do as you please." Stab. "Well you can't." Stab. "Certain things are undignified for a young unwed woman."

  "Such as kissing handsome men?"

  "And becoming a doctor."

  She reeled back, stung. "You know?" she whispered.

  "Of course I do. So does Mother. We're not stupid, Eva. We both hoped you would come to your senses on your own, but it seems you're more headstrong than we both realized."

  This was why she'd kept it a secret from them. This was why she'd refused to share her dreams. She shoved him in the chest with both hands. "You are not the master of me!"

  "You just said that Mother is." He sneered. "And she agrees with me. Being a doctor is a job for men."

  "Not anymore. The London School of Medicine For Women has been training women to become doctors for some time now. If it's good enough—"

  "I don't care," he growled through gritted teeth. "Do you hear me, Eva? It's undignified. You know that people like us have to be more careful than most."

  "Because we're Romany?"

  "Half-Romany. Leave men's jobs for the men, Eva. Let the girls who aren't fighting other prejudices fight the gender battle. You need to be more subtle and less of an agitator. Be a nurse, not a doctor."

  He strode to the window where he crossed his arms. Eva stared at his rigid back. Who was this person? Her brother had never spoken so cruelly to her. They bickered, but never had he ground her beneath his heel like this. Never had he shown such bitterness.

  "I know you're feeling the pressure being here, David," she said with dark calmness that she dredged up from deep within. "We all are. But that's no excuse. If you speak to me that way again, I will never forgive you."

  He half turned his head, his face in profile, every muscle taut. "You will behave yourself here, Eva. I don't care if it's another realm, the rules of propriety still apply."

  "Seth is a gentleman," she said evenly. "He would never take advantage of me."

  He stalked back to her, a tower of simmering anger, of hard angles and bleak shadows. "And you, Eva? Are you a good English gentlewoman? Or are you just like our mother?"

  She slapped his cheek. "I wish you'd never followed me here!"

  "I did it to protect you."

  She marched out of the room, her body trembling, her blood pumping. Everything swirled around her, faded in and out, and she stopped to catch her breath and her balance.

  A door up ahead opened and Lord Blaine emerged. Markell stepped into view and spoke quietly to him. Lord Blaine nodded, and patted the pocket of his tunic. Markell's smile was grim as he clasped the older man's arm. It looked like a farewell.

  She had stopped in the shadows near the stairs so Lord Blaine didn't see her until he was almost upon her. She greeted him softly and he smiled. It quickly faded.

  "Are you unwell, Miss Eva? You look feverish."

&nb
sp; She touched the back of her hand to her cheek. "A walk and fresh air will do me good. Thank you for your concern." She considered asking him if everything was all right but decided against it. Everything wasn't all right. They were on the brink of seeing their hard work ruined because of Quellery's greed.

  She watched him head down the stairs and out of sight then glanced at David's door. She would not go back and try to calm him down. He would have to apologize first.

  Eva was about to return to her own room when Lady Oxana came up the stairs. The amethyst pendant nestled in the V of her bosom glinted in the sunlight filtering through the window, and the gold rings on her fingers flashed.

  "You there," she said to Eva. "What's your name?"

  She knew perfectly well but Eva told her anyway.

  "What are you doing here? Your room is not on this floor."

  "Visiting my husband," Eva said smoothly. "Is that not allowed?"

  Lady Oxana's lips pinched so hard they disappeared altogether. "Petulance may be permissible in your realm, but in Wonderland we're taught to show our betters some respect."

  "As are we." Eva spun on her heel and left Oxana to contemplate that little gem. She strode to Seth's door and knocked.

  He answered it. Shirtless. He leaned an arm against the doorframe and a lazy grin curved his lips. "Good morning, Eva. To what do I owe—"

  She flattened her palm against his chest. She only meant to give him a sign that he should be careful in his choice of words with Lady Oxana nearby, but somehow she managed to make contact. He was warm, as if he'd just crawled out of bed. His muscles flexed and twitched beneath her hand. Was he affected by her touch?

  He placed his own hand over hers, trapping it. His smile turned mischievous. "Did you sleep well, my dear?" His voice was as smooth as his skin.

  Eva felt Lady Oxana's presence behind her. "Well enough, Husband. You?"

  Seth made a show of yawning. "Gus snores."

  "I do not," Gus called out from within the room.